The length of the bondage chains depends upon the situation and the mental and emotional depletion of the target. If the abuser sees that they can further deplete the target or use it to their benefit by still being alive, the chain will lengthen, much longer and more insidious than the bondage chain of Jacob Marley and his sins of greed in Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.”
Survivors are still in the stage of recognition of what happened to them. Then that person experiences cognitive dissonance over and over.
The survivor simply cannot match what happened to them with what they were led to believe had been happening. It is a bizarre form of denial: how can this be? How can people in positions of trust and authority betray repeatedly and call it love? How can they shame and blame their targets for pointing out their lies and inconsistencies in their behavior and words?
This enlightenment of the dysfunctional relationship is part of the recovery, which includes many substages of hacking through the “FOG” (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) with a gleaming machete of Truth.
The child, now grown, had lived through a small slice of Hell on earth and survived. She is currently in the process of being a ‘thriver’, not just a survivor. The adult is now comforting that little child and the child is no longer in fear of speaking her truth. Narcissists distort reality; they live within their own reality show and create their own macabe cast of characters. To be Continued…